A few weeks ago I finally made it back to church. Just the little man and I, Darren was home with a migraine. We were singing some praise music and for the life of me I can not remember the song, but I had Declan in his sling and while he worked on a nap, I held him close, swayed to the music and sang. I knew being a mom would change a lot of things. My view of certain situations, my thoughts on what is really clean and what can wait. My priorities. Everyone says you never know love until you're a mom, it is the most annoying thing I heard during pregnancy {next too, you don't look 9 months pregnant!!} but it is the most truthful; however you know what threw me for a loop? Being a mom of a boy and singing about God sending his Son to die for my sins. Yeah I lost it. It's probably the sinner in me but I can tell you right now if the fate of everyone's soul was relying on my son we would all be partying in hell. So talk about taking you to your knees. I've been a christian my whole life. I was baptized a few years ago and I know my way around the bible pretty well. I thought I had a good understanding of what Jesus' sacrifice meant. I did not get what God sacrificed. Talk about a new perspective.
So as cliche as this might sound, Declan has not only made me a better person - or at least strive to be, but be a better christian. We don't always make it to church, and I try to make it to my Wednesday night bible study (sometimes I forget its Wednesday....) but we are on the road.
