Patience.

Patience... I'm learning patience. I'm an instant gratification type of person. I hate waiting on my cookies to be done, events to happen, or waiting for things I want to purchase. I have the hardest time learning something new because as excited and open to learning new things as I am I get frustrated that it takes time and I don't know it instantly. Example: Darren bought me a new camera, a DSLR! I love it. I hate having to learn about it! I just want to know how everything works and be able to take great photos right away but sadly that isn't happening and I'm having to actually learn the different between shutter speed, aperture, and what on earth F stop is. But I'll get it because I know the time I put into will be worth it later on. The struggle is real though... I told my brother I wish I could just download his brain into mine. I  "just want to do it" I hate reading directions or being shown how to do something. Let me do it! I'll learn on the way!  I'm a very hands on person.

Declan is teaching me patience in more ways than I ever knew possible. First off he is trying so hard to crawl and getting so frustrated at the same time! I help him a bit. I try to show him how and I pick him up when he gets too angry but I know his frustration is what will fuel his ability to move and with time (see patience) he will get it. But for me, I just want him to be able to do it. I know he will be happier. {I probably won't be because now I have a baby on the move!} but he will be. But it is out of my hands. So I must idly sit by and watch him struggle {I'm sure this is somehow getting me ready for the rest of his life, watching him struggle and knowing when to intervene and when to let him fall} He'll get it. When he is ready.

He is teaching me patience {and trust} as we start food. Instead of doing purees we have gone straight to table foods - he eats whatever we eat- and we let Declan feed himself.  This helps dexterity, eye hand coordination, and he learns how to move food around his mouth much quicker than spoon feeding him. (not that there is something wrong with spoon feeding! Just after some research we felt this was better for us!) He's actually pretty good with a spoon on his own! There are many times I want to just do it myself. Let me put the food in your mouth! I will actually get it in your mouth rather than you getting it everywhere but the opening we are aiming for! Every time I step in and try to help, he gags. But if I sit back, let him learn and be patient he will eventually get it in his mouth without any gagging. And he's much happier doing it himself!

Lastly, he is teaching me patience at night but more importantly asking for patience. Since we started foods his little gut is working so hard to process all these new things so at night ...usually between the hours of 1-5... he is very unhappy. He fusses until I can get a burp or a fart of out him and then he will go back to sleep but that can take anywhere from 15 minutes to 1 hour and it isn't guaranteed how long the sleep will last until another bubble works its way through. And during this time of gassy unhappiness he is crying. Marshal leaves the room... lucky dog. Darren has moved back to the guest bedroom for the time being... lucky husband. So it's just me and a gassy baby at 3 am. We've tried bicycles, gripe water, colic/gas tablets (which so far seem to be the best help!), and patting or more so drumming. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it doesn't matter. I have found what really matters is my attitude and that all depends on before I fall asleep. The nights I go to bed without asking for God to give me patience are awful. I am cranky and angry. I have no patience for my poor Little Man and I'm grumpy in the morning. But the nights I go to bed praying, asking God to grant me patience, to remind me this is a small window in hopefully a long life, that Declan needs my comfort, and he isn't doing this on purpose; I am calm. Even if the crying lasts a hour or more. I am patient. I am understanding. So again... my little 6 month old {almost 7 months!!} gassy man is teaching me more about the Lord and His control than I ever imagined.